Got a spare Dhs275 million lying around for your next birthday cake? (Us neither).

Money doesn’t buy happiness, you say? True perhaps, but there are some situations where it can definitely help.

Whether it’s buying that T-shirt you like, or buying that handbag you don’t really need, we all love a little treat from time to time. And with Dubai being Dubai and the world-renowned king of one-ups and lavish lifestyles, there are some seriously pricey things on offer here.

Get ready for some only-in-Dubai action with our list of the most decadently expensive purchases in the city.

1. Hotel Room – Dhs73,000

burj al arab

Ah, the Royal Suite at the Burj Al Arab. A room fit for a king, and a bargain at between around Dhs48,000 and Dhs73,000 a night (well those were the prices quoted when we rang and enquired today). Taking up two floors, this 780 square-metre suite is just opulence in every sense of the word, with its own private cinema and more gold details than you can shake a diamond-encrusted stick at.

burj al arab

Burj Al Arab, Jumeirah Beach Road, Jumeirah 3, Dubai. Dhs88,000. Tel:+971 4 301 7777, jumeirah.com.

2. Dental treatment – Dhs14,500 per tooth

Yo mama’s teeth so yellow, when she smiles on the street, cars slow down. Well for the small sum of just Dhs14,500 per tooth, yo mama can have veneers fitted by celebrity dentist Michael Apa himself, who’ll fly in from the US especially for the occasion. That’s just under Dhs500,000 for a full set of gnashers. Ouch.

Here’s the man himself:

Thanks for the shades @monakattan …deal with that #nyfw !!

A photo posted by Dr. Michael Apa (@doctorapa) on

Apa Aesthetic Dental & Cosmetic Centre, 63 Al Thanya Street, Villa B, Umm Suqeim 2, Dubai, Sun to Fri, 9am to 6pm. Tel: +971 4 709 1000, apaaesthetic.ae.

3. Cocktail – Dhs15,000

A lot of us know the horror of waking up after a night out to find your wallet void of cash. ‘What could I have possibly spent it on?’ you ask. And then you find the receipt. ‘One drink?!’ If it’s the ‘Birth of an Icon’ at the Burj al Arab Skyview bar, then yep. This Dhs15,000 drink is dusted with gold.

Skyview Bar, 27th Floor, Burj Al Arab, Jumeirah Beach Road, Dubai, daily, 1pm to 2am. Tel: +971 4 301 7600, jumeirah.com.

4. Meal – Dhs1,950

Hakkasan, Emirates Towers

One of the most expensive single dishes in Dubai comes from Hakkasan, where Dhs1,950 will get you a main of duck, cucumber, spring onions and Beluga caviar. For that kind of cash, we’d want to shake the Beluga whale’s hand – or at least have someone feed us the meal personally.

Hakkasan, Floor G, Emirates Towers Hotel, Trade Centre Area, Dubai, daily, 7pm to 1am. Tel:+971 4 384 8484, hakkasan.com.

5. Spa treatment – Dhs25,000

Talise Ottoman Spa

Dhs25,000 at the Talise Ottoman Spa in the Jumeirah Zabeel Saray will net you a 24-carat gold facial package, including an Arabian gold hammam, massage, milk and rose oil bath, and lunch of champagne and caviar. For that money, we’d want to leave the spa looking like Brad Pitt. Actually, we’d want Brad Pitt to fly out and give us the treatment himself.

Talise Ottoman Spa, Crescent Road, The Palm Jumeirah, Dubai, daily 9am to 9.30pm. Tel: +971 4 453 0456, jumeirah.com.

6. Ice cream – Dhs3,000

scoopi

We all scream for ice cream, but that price tag’s not n-ice (sorry). For Dhs3,000, you’ll be treated to a single scoop of Scoopi’s ‘Black Diamond’ ice cream. Made from black Italian truffles (yes of the stinky, savoury variety), Iranian saffron, Madagascar vanilla from organic pods, then created using liquid nitrogen, sprinkled with 23-carat edible gold and served in a Versace bowl with a silver spoon. We’ll stick to double choc-chip for now, maybe with a side of Italian truffles.

Scoopi Café, Jumeirah Beach Road, Umm Suqeim, Dubai. daily, 1pm to 1am. Tel:+971 4 448 9526.

7. Apartment – Dhs181,000,000

one-at-the-palm-duplex-living

One of the most expensive apartments in the world (although not yet built) is up for grabs in Dubai for a cool Dhs181 million. That’ll net you 42,477sqft of penthouse, with two-tennis-courts-worth-of-balcony. You’ll also be granted access to indoor and outdoor swimming pools, a cinema, a cigar lounge, luxury spa and a yacht club.

Still under construction, Palm Jumeirah, Dubai.

8. A Dhs275,000,000 birthday cake


Although not available for purchase anymore as it was a bespoke order, we thought this absurdly expensive cake sold earlier this week was worth a mention (and if you really wanted one I’m sure you could give them a call).

Crafted by British designer Debbie Wingham (who also created the world’s most expensive dress), this cake was sold to a wealthy family in Dubai for Dhs275,486,250. That’s 75 million US dollars! 

The cake, weighing nearly 500kg, was adorned with 17 precious stones, themselves worth Dhs169,090,707, with over 4,000 more smaller diamonds, amethysts and emeralds between one and five carats as other parts of the décor.

Gutted if you ate one.