14 social media must-dos for Dubai fashion types
1. When posting pictures from the previous night, ALWAYS label these ‘about last night’. This is brilliantly witty and has never been done before by anyone, ever.
2. Wherever possible, Dubai should be referred to as ‘the sandpit’. Again, this is ingenious, as Dubai is in a desert, and deserts have sand. People will just die laughing.
3. An acceptable alternative to ‘the sandpit’ is ‘Doobs’. Feel free to spell it with as many Os as you like.
4. One exclamation mark is never enough (!!!!!!!!).
5. If you’re with friends, please always refer to them as ‘this one’ (“at Blue Marlin Doobs with this one!!!”)
6. Further explain that friendship by clearly noting friends as ‘one of my faves’.
7. Any hint of a car MUST be accompanied with the words ‘they see me rollin’.
8. Always, always, always reveal every label you’re wearing, no matter where it’s from. Remember, TAP FOR TAGS could just save a life.
10. An awareness of time is crucial. Whenever something happens, it’s imperative that you declare it with the words ‘So, this just happened…’
11. For every other time, please prefix sentences with ‘That time when…’ regardless of whether the rest of the sentence is anything out of the ordinary whatsoever (‘That time when we had brunch’).
12. Why write it when you can emoji it? Like, Shakespeare and all those guys would totally have done all their books with emojis if only someone had invented them. Romeo & Juliet with thumbs ups, hearts and tiny knives? That’s pretty much the book right there.
13. Never, ever, ever go in the business/first class area of a plane without showing a shot of you drinking a glass of bubbles. A shot of your passport and clearly marked business/first class ticket, also alongside bubbles, is optional but encouraged. Checking in from the business/first class lounge is also encouraged.
14. Also, sometimes, words don’t even need all their letters.