Hotter than your car’s steering wheel in unsheltered parking, mid July…

It may be warming up outside but these infernal Dubai challenges will have your taste buds in a land of fire and spice all year round. We’ve put together a selection of the hottest, wildest, far-from-the-mildest, spiciest, feistiest, beat the heat food challenges that Dubai has to offer. Go hard, then go home dripping with sweat and  regret.

Claw BBQ: The XXX Inferno Wings Challenge

A triple X in a name signifies one of two things, and the only one we’re licensed to discuss here means ‘extra, extra, extra’ – hot, in this particular case. So hot in fact, Claw have got a potential five bottles of beer on the line if you manage to bury its dozen diabolically-spicy chicken wings in a sitting. The challenge is this, 12 wings, 20 minutes and for every nugget of fire-fuelled fury you manage to finish after your seventh consecutive one… you get a free beer. There’s also a dessert in it for the victors. The precise Scoville count and chili blend behind the marinade is a closely guarded secret, all we know is – it’s volcanically hot.

Hilton Dubai Palm Jumeirah, Dhs129. @clawbbqpalm

Buffalo Wild Wings – Blazin’ Challenge

Blazin’ saddles is presumably day two, when day one is Buffalo Wild Wings’s Blazin’ Challenge. Here you have a super short time limit, of five minutes to scoff all 10 chicken appendages. They’re coated in Blazin’ sauce, the main constituent of which is the mighty ghost pepper. They also come fresh out of the oil, so they’re hot two ways really. Those able to put away these potent poultry embers will get the wings for free (usually Dhs65) and a celebratory t-shirt. But as with all good fire clubs, there all rules: No dips, no drinks, no wet wipes, and no tissues. Winners don’t take bathroom break.

Multiple locations, Dhs65. @bwwingsuae

Rodeo Drive: July 4 Chicken Wing Challenge

Nothing screams “freedom” quite as loudly (or as breathlessly) as a good old fashioned chicken wing hoedown. The SZR location of authentic, gloriously eccentric Americana, Rodeo Drive is hosting a special Daredevil spicy wing challenge for one night and one night only, July 4 – American Independence Day. YeeHa. Exercise your free will by consuming 10, wildly hot wings in a wicked quick fit of three minutes. The organisers assure us, the current record sits around the one minute mark. Nerfing the challenge, with activities like sipping milk or diving for the restrooms, is strictly prohibited. But wrangle that fire in your belly like the champ you are and the spoils are a fitting reward: Your wing fee back (Dhs49), a Rodeo Drive champion’s trophy, a Rodeo Drive dining voucher, and legit Hall of Fame recognition. If this is your first Rodeo, saddle up, lock in, and get ready for the burn.

Trade Center First, July 4, 7pm to 10pm, Dhs49. @rodeodrivedubai

Wingsters: The Initiation

This fabled spice challenge of old is allegedly making a grand UAE return to dine-in locations soon. It’s just eight pieces of chicken, and if you finish them in 12 minutes you get the full Dhs79 charge, back. Sounds easy right? And it absolutely would be if the wings weren’t marinated in, and lathered with additional dollops of SIX MILLION Scoville sauce. To give you a yardstick, jalapeños are around 2,500; the double spicy Buldak ramen is around 9,000; a Ghost Pepper is up near the one million mark and Carolina Reapers are a drop in the lemon & herb ocean at 2.5 million. So if you’re wondering what Wingsters have growing in their green house, you’re not alone. Don’t call it a comeback (sauce).

The Greens, Dhs79. @wingstersuae

77 Asia, JBR: Hellfire noodles

Exclusively available at their JBR branch, this secret menu item, is a cheeky, sneaky, Scoville-peaky upgrade on their traditional dan dan noodles. The challenge element is just being able to finish the dish (Dhs39), which comes loaded to the gills with Nepali chilis.

JBR, Dhs39. @77asiaae

Dave’s Hot Chicken: Sign the waiver

The reaper they told you not to fear. Ok this isn’t a challenge as such, there are no real prizes for finishing the order, but it’s still a gastronomic Everest for those of plain palate. A good rule of thumb, when considering how spicy food might be, is whether or not admin is involved. Paperwork, it turns out, is almost universally a bad sign – particularly if the red tape is a legal disclaimer, disavowing the food provider of any liability should the relevant party (you) suffer any harm (embarrassment, tears, loss of smell/taste, intense ringing in the ears, temporary blindness from stray fingers, unquenchable thirst, nausea, projectile fire vomiting, and/or death*) upon consuming the food. And whilst the disclaimer for its Reaper tier tenders is a cheeky, knowing wink, it isn’t just a gimmick. Those things are almost actual literal fire. Delicious, but fire.

*not the real disclaimer text

Multiple locations, from Dhs35. @daveshotchickengcc