Do you have Dhs399,000 to burn as well as a desire to impress someone incredibly picky this Valentine’s Day? Here’s your solution.

The Valentine’s Day Extravaganza at the Anantara The Palm Dubai Resort should be just the ticket for those of you with more money than you know what to do with.

What’ll the three night package set you back? Oh, only Dhs399,000. (That’s 108,000 US Dollars or 74,000 British Pounds, in case you were wondering).

So what do you get?

– Well, it all begins with a private helicopter ride over Dubai’s landmarks (we’ll just get an Uber chopper thanks). You’re then chauffeur-driven to the resort. Serious question: is the chauffeur Brad Pitt, LeBron James or someone equally famous?

– Upon arrival you’ll check into your beach villa before popping on a robe (if you so desire) and heading to the spa for a couple’s Turkish Hammam treatment.

One-Bed-Beach-Pool-Villa-Bedroom

– When you get back to your room you’ll find a pre-ordered couture dress as well as a bespoke suit for the gent in the equation. A team of pro makeup and hair artistes will provide finishing touches to both your looks.

– Your private butler will serve some canapés and champagne cocktails on your terrace, and then you can nosh down on a five course dinner (in your villa or any of the resort’s restaurants).

– Suffer from indigestion? Don’t eat too much at dinner, because post-meal you’ll get taken on a cruise around the Palm Jumeirah on a private yacht.

– You’re on your own for the sleeping bit, but will wake up to a bubbly breakfast in bed, before a late checkout (well that’s the least you could ask for given the bill you’re about to pay, right?).

– But then, and this clearly explains the priciness, you’ll get chauffered to the airport where you’ll fly Business Class with Emirates to the Maldives for a two-night stay at Anantara’s Kihavah Maldives Villas (sorry, we kind of buried the lead there).

Sounds amazing, yes, but we’ll probably just stick to our usual routine of takeaway pizza and a series binge this Valentine’s Day (except we’ll order the fancy buffalo mozzarella one. It is a special occasion and all).