Ramadan in Dubai: 7 things not to say to people fasting

Ramadan is a time of spirituality and togetherness…

It’s also a time of comic gold, a time when you discover how deep and thick the ignorance runs in the ignorant. All the peeps out there gearing up to fast for this wonderful Holy Month – I fall in line with you as you also prepare to hear some nonsense, some well-meaning and misfired, some straight up ridiculous and some truly hilarious. Folks not fasting – this here is the saviour of your dignity. These are all the things not to say to the fasting folk.

Not even water?

Yes, Susan. Not even water. Not even your peach-raspberry-unicorndust-rainbowfarts-flavoured Humantra sachets. Not even that. The core idea of fasting in Ramadan is that one chooses to feel deeply the plight of those who involuntarily, out of no choice of their own, are deprived of necessities such as food and hydration, so that we learn to count our blessings, practice gratitude and help those in need.

Are you thirsty?

Well, if it walks like a duck, and it sounds like a duck, it’s probably a duck. I haven’t had water all day = I’m probably thirsty. It’s quick mafs.

Are you hungry?

Refer to the preceding point for logic. I would imagine it’s probably common courtesy not to ask questions that seem a bit obvious in a time of someone’s struggle. In all seriousness, it’s totally a-okay and welcome to ask us questions about things you don’t understand. Ramadan is a beautiful time of learning for us all, and we are open to genuine curiosity and want to educate. Just not that one guy on the desk across from you, asking you if you’re hungry as he shovels his lunch into his mouth.

So, you don’t eat for the entire month?

That would be starvation, so no. That is not the case. The fast lasts from sunrise to sunset and in that period is when we exercise abstinence from food, drink and also any habit that we’re trying to get rid of, like smoking, swearing, anger and so on and so forth. It’s basically a way to cleanse yourself from the vices and addictions in your life. After sunset, when we break out fast, we do eat and drink.

I also have Muslim friends

Okay? Congratulations? We love to hear all about your Muslim friends, but this statement unsolicited is a bit jarring. It’s totally okay if you don’t have a statement you think we’ll relate to. Sharing new experiences is far more exciting.

That can’t be good for you

As a matter of fact, it is. It’s actually scientifically proven to have several physiological and psychological benefits. Google is also free to use, so. Fasting has proven to regulate ‘bad’ cholesterol, help people lose weight, reduce blood cholesterol which can keep heart attacks, strokes, and other diseases at bay, improve your lifestyle, use your fat reserves, cleanse your body of harmful toxins and give you a boosted mood and mental clarity, among many others. What do you think intermittent fasting is doing to your body?

You’ll become so skinny!

That’s not that point, babes.

For another lesson on this special month, read here.

Images: Unsplash/Getty