9 different types of people I (and most likely, you) encounter on the Dubai Metro
Happy travelling, everybody…
OPINION: I am ever so grateful to the Dubai Metro. It gets me from one end of the city to the other for a cheap fare in good time.
But public transport involves a whole lot of interaction with, well… the public, aka… people. As a fairly regular commuter for nearly 12 years, here are nine types of people I come across when I use the popular public transportation system.
The Blockers
Oh, blockers… There are so many of them on the Dubai Metro that I’ve divided them into subcategories.
Blocker #1: The one who walks slowly in front of you when you’re trying to rush through the Dubai Metro station to catch the train. Despite their sloth-like pace, you just can’t get ahead of them, no matter how much you zig and zag thanks to rush hour.
Blocker(s) #2: Similar to above, but these blockers have family and friends, and they are all attached at the hips. Most commonly found on the travelators, you simply have no chance of passing them. Your best hope is that they will spontaneously break out into an Irish dance – at least that would be free entertainment.
Blocker #3: The ones who plank against the Dubai Metro automatic doors and won’t budge, seemingly unaware of the tidal wave of people trying to get off and on the metro. Head down, elbows pointed out like a turkey, furiously swiping at a game of Candy Crush.
Blocker #4: Oh, and speaking of which. It’s bad enough trying to work your way around the aforementioned Candy Crush blocker, but the battle continues as you try to shimmy past those inconsiderate people who try to board before you’ve worked out your escape route.
Blocker #5: You’ve had a long day at work, and the Dubai Metro has a finite number of seats. So you sit on the floor – I get it. But sitting with your legs stretched out, thus occupying three spots, and nicking an additional one to make your handbag or laptop bag is comfortable is not ok! Speaking of bags…
The Handbag Army
Michael Kors, Marc Jacobs, Louis Vuitton, Hermes – you’ll see them all on the Dubai Metro. Collectively, these bags can occupy the floor space of one entire compartment. Which is why as soon as I board, my handbag is off my shoulders and held at knee level to be more accommodating to others. Honestly, how is this not a rule? Even worse are the ones who place their precious bags on the seat next to them, and refuse to move it for actual humans. Honey, you might own a Prada, but money can’t buy manners.
Oh, and speaking of bags. Since I am quite short, I can’t count the number of times I have been walloped by handbags. Yes, in the face!
Luggage, strollers, scooters…
Oh no… Okay, I know this is something that can’t be helped. But, my anxiety goes up whenever a passenger gets on board with one of these items. Because of the lack of space, they end up near the door, and I always go into a panic attack planning my escape route. However, I truly believe these items belong in the luggage zone, but since the Dubai Metro is crowded, especially during rush hour, this usually ends up occupied with people. Yikes…
I think there needs to be staff warning passengers bringing these on board (or trying to) that the trains are crowded. Once again, I do feel for the father and mother standing on the platform with a stroller looking stressed… so a warning will really be helpful.
The Oblivious Ones
I get it. During rush hour, the metro gets overly crowded and feels like a sardine can (it often smells like one, too.) But being leaned on, stepped on, accidentally slapped, or forced to eat a mouthful of someone else’s hair is just not right.
Please. Respect. Personal. Space. Or at least try to!
On the subject of manners…
‘I’m sorry’, and ‘Excuse me, please’ – two phrases most of us using the Dubai Metro need to learn. Have you accidentally stomped on someone’s foot… Say you’re sorry. Is your station approaching? Don’t try to shove to the doors if the train is still moving. It’s difficult for people to move around, especially when the train jerks suddenly. Wait until the train station is pulling into the station before you request people to move aside so you can get off the train.
The Line Cutters
One thing that really (really, really…) irks me is when people cut in line. FYI – the people standing one behind the other waiting for the metro to arrive, is in a queue. They aren’t doing so to salute or serenade you so you can stroll past us. Take the hint and get to the back of the line and wait your turn.
Oh, and why is it that said line cutters always turn on ‘deaf’ mode when others call them out? #Rude
The Seat Stealers
A trip on the metro isn’t complete without coming face-to-face with… a seat stealer.
It’s the person who gets on board stations after you do but somehow ends up nabbing a seat first.
The one who manages to warp him, or herself into a flubber-like form, squeezing through the tiniest of spaces to get to that coveted vacant seat. And, while we’re on the topic…
The second an elderly person, pregnant lady, or someone with a broken bone enters the metro, it suddenly seems like those seated either
a) fall into a deep sleep
b) have their eyes glued to something very important on their phone or
c) have x-ray vision or can’t see through their sunglasses.
Seriously, if you notice someone who needs the seat more than you, please get up and offer it to them…
The Colour Blind
Ladies cabin: Dear men of Dubai – this one’s for you! Do you see that pink sign marking the ladies-only area? The sticker on the floor before you board? No? Well, allow me to point out the smaller stickers inside the metro which say ‘100AED fine for men in this area’. Yeah, that means YOU! Good sir, are in the wrong compartment! No matter how long you stare at the lady pictogram, it’s not going to magically morph into pants. Sorry.
Gold class: I am fortunate to be able to afford the double fare of Gold class. I don’t have the patience to endure silver class, and I applaud those of you who do. But when I am in Gold class, and I see people entering the cabin with a Silver nol card, it really irks me. It could be a mistake, yes, but I have personally seen people not leave the cabin even after being told it is gold class. On one occasion, said person even refused to budge after an officer politely asked them to shift to the next cabin. Like, what…? (Not my brain screaming, ‘Fine him now!’)
The Noisemakers
I’m all for a few laughs inside the metro on a Friday night. It is the weekend, after all. Not so for the weekdays, where the metro’s decibel meter hits an all-time high. Burps, stinky yawns, office rants, the next Dubai Idol hopefuls practicing for their audition… all harmonized with the occasional banshee scream of a sad soul who tried to jump into the metro as the doors were closing. And failed.
Oh, and we can’t forget about those who listen to their videos or music without headphones. Or talking to their family or colleagues out loud. Excuse me, if you start telling a story to the whole cabin and I get invested, you better ensure you finish said story before you or I get off!
Are we there yet?
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Images: Getty
