Live long in prosperity…

Let’s begin with a little thought experiment. Imagine you buy an old decorative oil lamp from the Creekside souks. You polish it and, perhaps a little derivatively for this part of the world, a genie pops out. He gives you the “no resurrections or wishing for more wishes” disclaimer, and then asks you to call out your most heartfelt desires. Surveys predict that you’re likely to ask for some combination of the following three things: wealth, beauty and living for a very long time.

The founding principles of Longevity Wellness Hub are to make at least one of those wishes its command. Set up by Dani Afiouni in 2019, the one-stop wellness shop tasks itself with empowering its clientele to “Age Well and Live Better”. But is that possible? And if so, what are they doing to achieve it? I’ve checked into their Al Quoz hub on an otherwise unremarkable Thursday morning to find out. Its first spell is cast immediately.

The interior is a dramatic scene change from the sparks and barks of the workshops outside. It’s a warm green sanctum of Gaian meditation, a calming ohm of green canopy and serene remedy. But the Longevity Wellness Hub doesn’t claim to pursue its noble goals by the power of transcendental yoga and breathwork alone (though they’re a good place to start). Here you have access to a Stark-Tower-tier range of futuristic life-enriching gadgetry, there are the ice baths for which Longevity is probably best known (they create and sell their own brand, as well as having a mobile unit); an infrared sauna; facilities for compression lymphatic drainage and magnetic field stimulation; contraptions that enable full spectrum light therapy and redlight functional training; it offers diagnostic tools and practical therapies; and then there are the practitioners and coaches that are arguably the most vital of wellness components.

After a consultation with the charismatic and positively-charged Laura, my soul already feels five kilos lighter. I can’t read auras, but if I could sense Laura’s in any way – it’s desert rain. Longevity has a large consumer base of athletes and I’ve signed up to try one of their favourite machines, the hyperbaric chamber.

I spend 45 minutes relaxing in high pressure, high-oxygen environment and the effects are extraordinary. I feel calm and energised, bouncy almost as I settle in to treatment number two, sound and light frequency therapy. Headphones go on, my eyes close and the headset rattles off a rapid sequence of rhythmic LED flashes. By minute two, I’m already hurtling face-first through a neon forest. The light that’s hitting my eyelids is just white, but my mind is painting it in full OLED technicolour. I take off the visor and leave the spirit world, reality is a steady, if slightly more dull consolation.

Will I live longer now? Only time will tell, but I’m committed to working on my breathing exercises, eating better, taking semi-regular ice plunges, meditating and all of that means I’m giving it my best personal shot.

Al Quoz, Umm Suqeim Main Street, Warehouse S6, daily 7.30am to 9.30pm, prices vary based on treatment package. Tel: (0)54 565 6021. @longevity.wellness.hub

Images: Provided